que pasa

I just want to say that I've finally gotten over this crush I've been having for like the past 5 months or so.  For those of you in the know, it was pretty bad at first.  It took me a ridiculous amount of time to realize that nothing was going to happen and that it was definitely one-sided.  But then that's the way crushes are, right?

As crazy an experience having a crush is, it's also very fun.  Makes for great distraction and discussion.  Some people go to the extent of "stalking" their Facebook, MySpace, Friendster pages and so on, but I've yet to go that far, whew.  I always tell myself that one day, I will tell the crush-ee that I had a crush on him but I never get around to doing it.  I may have thick skin, but I'm not gutsy enough. 

Anyway, if you're wondering how this crush came to an end, common sense finally set in and I just got bored of wishing and dreaming about him.  Here's the kicker though, I have another crush! Ok, well, I don't really have a new crush; I have a new friend who looks pretty decent and seems like an interesting person. 

Actually, I just wanted to be able to say, "I crushed a crush with a crush!"
(Forget the English lessons that tell you never to repeat the same word in the same sentence; I think it sounds great, lol)

Ah yes, the things that amuse me.  And yes, it's nice to know my hormones are still raging.  :p

I guess it's kinda clichéd for me to put up an article like this – that marriage isn't for everyone and everyone shouldn't feel like they need to get married.

The article says, "There is... a commonly held notion that to get married is to 'settle down', in contrast to being unmarried suggesting that the latter is to be saddled with an 'unsettled' state of life."

A friend and I were talking yesterday a bit about settling down and I think this quote describes pretty well how we felt.  I've always thought that marriage is very hard work and a big transition. (But lately I'm thinking that having kids is an even bigger change and takes much more effort to cope with.)

I think that it's worth the time and process to find (or wait) for the right person, instead of settling for who you obviously know to be less than the key criteria you really want. Granted, we don’t know who we’re going to meet in the future and it’s very possible that we might never find that "right" person. But when it comes to the human with whom you expect to find rest, comfort and support, I think we should give due respect and serious consideration to nagging feelings (i.e. your gut) that today's decision to get hitched is going to come back and haunt us later.

Have relationships, by all means, because that's how you know somebody. But don't get married until you know you want to come home to this person everyday for the rest of your life, because reversing that decision is very painful and hurtful.

For work purposes, I will be relocating to Beijing in August. Maybe I will have a chance to be there for the Olympics after all. This relocation is in effect the result of June’s upheaval and turmoil. Well, actually I thought about it and decided almost 3 weeks ago, but it's just now that I'm sharing about it.

Essentially I need to be closer to potential investors. And they're not here in Chengdu, they're in Beijing and Shanghai. It so happens that my apartment lease expires this Thursday so I've been slowly packing up for the past three weeks, preparing for the day.

The past three weeks have also been rather stressful because of work problems, and they are still being worked out. Being in a startup is like taking a course in hardship. We're not talking beginner level here; it's more like Hardship 640 or something. Seriously, do not be an entrepreneur if you're not ready to rough it out. And I mean, REALLY rough it out.

Anyway, this is my last weekend living in Chengdu. Future trips back here will be exactly that, trips. I'll be staying in a hotel, and maybe for a week or two only. As I walked around these past few weekends, it confirmed one thing: I am glad to be leaving, or rather, I am glad that I will no longer be living in Chengdu.

As I have expressed in earlier posts, this place is not my home. I feel no sense of attachment, and I have nothing tying me down here. Despite a fair part of my possessions being here, the fact that I have spent almost three years here, and that my project companies which I am very committed to are located here, I am truly relieved to be going away.

I am looking forward to be living in community (a Singaporean family in fact), being in a place where I have much more eating options (rather than Sichuan cuisine which I don't enjoy very much), possibly be involved in church and have regular bible studies. There will also be many more single working expats that I can relate too. I feel that I have lost a huge chunk of life (as I knew it) here and can't wait to have part of it restored.

So I'll be back in Singapore this Friday, be in Japan for 2 weeks, and then preparing for Beijing.

I like this version with Edward Norton and Liv Tyler much better.  Great action.  More interesting plot.  And you catch a few good lines here and there too.  I think when Marvel does their own comic hero movies, it's much better.

Great movie to destress to.  Crashing, banging, fighting, destruction and all that.

Robert Downey Jr appears in a very short cameo at the end... alluding to more excitement to be expected in the future.  :)

This month has been and continues to be a difficult month. Many questions and issues raised, major changes being decided on and implemented. 

There is no easy solution, I hope we find a way out or reprieve soon.

I'm toying with the idea of going to Japan.  Anybody want to go during 17-23 July? 

This letter submitted to The Straits Times in Singapore proposes the case that it is not hard to learn Chinese, contrary to what many Singaporeans think.  He gives his instance of how he is now proficient in both English and Chinese because of his open mind.

I didn't think much of the article at first.  In fact, I ignored it when I read the headlines.  Because I thought it was just some Chinese educated guy or someone with a strong Chinese background bragging about how he learn English which to me is no big deal because I do feel that English is much easier than Chinese.  But then I read it anyway because Asiaone had it flashing in its main headlines for quite a few days. 

I didn't like the way he wrote the article.  "Flogging a dead horse," a friend called it.  We get the point already.  I didn't like how he made learning Chinese so easy because I have struggled with Chinese for the longest time, and am still struggling.  I know it's not easy.

But then, I realized that what the writer said could be applied to anything – from a language to a skill to a sport. That having the right mindset is all it takes for success.  Not necessarily good enough to turn professional or specialize at it, but good enough to be comfortable. 

Then I wondered if he could be right in suggesting that I have narrowed my mind to be biased against something and so could never get good at it.  That, apart from uncontrollable factors, I am hindering myself from getting better. 

I have always maintained the position that as far as education is concerned, if the teacher can stir the student's interest in a topic, the student will voluntarily put in all the effort needed to get familiar with it.  The teacher's primary job is to open his mind to the fact that the subject could be interesting, and second, to facilitate the learning by providing materials, knowledge and guidance.

In the same way, if we are interested in a subject, you can be sure we will be googling it, checking out books or talking to people on the matter.  But what if it's a new subject, or something we just can't seem to enjoy?  How can we create the interest in ourselves, so that that will drive our learning?  May I suggest the following ways:

1. Talk to someone who is already interested in the subject.
Ask them what's so fun/interesting/cool about it.  Hear his passion on the matter and just bask in it for a while.  Just listen, try to picture things from his perspective.  Maybe his enthusiasm will catch on.  I remember when a friend passed me a DVD on ultimate frisbee, it was so intense that I wanted to start playing.

2. Try it out. 
This could mean deliberately signing up for one of those one-day crash course thingies – go with a friend – or when the impulse catches you, just walk-in somewhere, or take up an opportunity that presents itself and get your hands dirty.  Sometimes unexpected and unintended exposure to something lets you realize that you have a natural knack or hidden interest in something.  It's like cooking, some people who have never really cooked before can just throw some random stuff together and it tastes pretty darn good!  Or it’s like that time when my friends and I were in Bali, we signed up for this 2 hours basic surfing lesson...  Crispy Prawn certainly impressed me with how fast she got the hang of the whole thing.

3. Realizing it's not that difficult and can be enjoyable/ meaningful. 
Apart from trying something out, if you can observe from the side how something is done, maybe you'll discover you don't have to be such and such to do it.  Take away preconceived notions of qualifying conditions.  Watch the smile, grin, fist pump or shout of satisfaction when the task is completed, look at the result of the task (if something is created) – wouldn't you want to feel that way, or have something like that of your own?

I think there are so many things in life that stop us from trying things out, but we don't make things any easier when we already think we can't do it, or can't be possibly be good at it.  We are already defeated.  Remember, the goal is not turn professional, it's to get comfortable at it. 

And if it so turns out that you really aren't good at it, you can at least say you tried, you know what its like (which will be great for relating with people) and you know yourself a little better now.  But the flipside is also true; you might discover a new interest or natural ability and pursue that further.

Is there something that you want to work on or something you always thought you couldn't do?  See if you can somehow "open your mind".  Once you're hooked, you'll be willing to put in the effort needed to improve.  Then you will get better.  

So, after being inspired by Mr. P's deck-of-cards workout idea during our conversation yesterday, I decided to try it out today. 

The deck-of-cards workout idea is that you use assign a certain type of exercise (and number of reps) to each card in the deck.   So like a King could be 2 x 100m sprints, a Queen could be 1 lap of 400m as fast as you can, a numbered heart could be that number of lunges, a numbered spade could be that number of push-ups... you get the idea.  Assign various exercises that let you work different muscle groups.  Then shuffle the deck, pick your first card, do the exercise, pick your second, do that exercise and so on. 

I thought it was a great idea because it creates a random element to the workout.  But I decided to start easy and simple.  6 pieces of folded paper, each with a specified exercise activity written inside.  I put a low number of reps of each exercise and told myself I would do 6 sets.  So I mix them up and start picking.  I even went to the running track at a school so that I would have a real exercise space to work out at.

I am very embarrassed to report that I didn't make 3 sets!  And that whatever I did took me FOREVER to finish.  I'm not even going to tell you how long I took to do what I did.  That’s how bad it was.  I'm not aching now, but I can feel some of the muscles I worked...  who knows what it's going to be like tomorrow?

So I whined about it to Mr. P, who very encouragingly said, "Imagine the feeling of satisfaction when you have progress next time!"  To which I replied, "Who says I'm going to??? If I do, you'll know how bored I am..."

The funny thing is, I think I actually might try this again and see if I end up getting back on a regular exercise routine.  Maybe, just maybe like ten years later, I might get to the point where I can use a full deck of cards!  LOL.  Anyway, we'll see…

So, if you try out this deck-of-card thingy, let me know how it goes for you.  But please remember to warm up before starting ok?