que pasa

I'm here waiting for my friend to show up, we're gonna have a great
time I know.

But recently I feel like some things are gonna happen, I'm kinda
excited. It's not like I know what these things are, so I can't tell
if I'll like them. But I just have this sense of anticipation building
up, little things in the recent past contributing to this feeling. Of
course, today being new year's eve helps too.

It's pretty cool to feel like this. In a time where many are uncertain
of their path (myself included), I feel ok with it. I have Hope :)

Wow, I thought it's been a much longer time since I wrote, but actually it has only been 2 months.  So here's a progress update on how I've been.

Physical health.  Cough cough.  I'm sick again, but already on the recovery.  Half of shanghai was sick for the past month or so, so I was bound to go down, me with my not so fantastic constitution. But on the upside, this bug didn't take me out that badly like previous illnesses have so maybe I'm getting a little tougher.  Maybe, haha.

Have signed up for a gym and trying to build a regular routine for that, the illness kinda threw me off though.  Also, strange how suddenly my schedule is so packed all the way up to Chinese New Year.  Still playing casual ultimate on Saturday mornings and that has been great.  So glad to have found a bunch of friends who will still come and play in the cold winter so long as it doesn't rain.  Some newcomers have also been joined the group so it's been good to meet new people.

Soul and relationships.  This is where I'm really pleased to share that Papa has been very good to me.  He's given me easy opportunities to seek understanding of my faith, work it out, get more involved in small group, and build up a relationships with a core group of people. 

One of the things I did was to try and figure out my spiritual gifts (using Peter Wagner's Your Spiritual Gifts Can Help Your Church Grow that my home group also did), and then test out the results to see if things would just naturally go (for lack of a better word) smoother/easier/more effectively if I used them. It is exciting to do this, you should too! 

The other thing that happened was that my small group split into three because we were too large.  So in my new small group, we've had to share the duties of getting the small group going and the amazing thing is that our core group of folks have been so generous and supportive.  The new friends Papa has brought to us are also an interesting bunch, and they keep coming back!  Yay!

Seriously, if only we would step up and ask for more, Papa has so much to give! In the words of my earlier post “Check up”, I'd say I'm surfing the baby waves now :)

I guess we're good enough friends now with China to receive a pair of pandas, wonder if they'll get any incentives to have babies :) 

Read more here.

My ayi kinda reprimanded a bit today. "Your place needs to be cleaned every week! Too dirty!" This was after not having her come by for a month because I was home for 3 weekends. So she had to work extra hard today. Anyway I agree with her, the apartment is rather dusty despite my efforts to sweep mid-week. But moving forward, so long as I can schedule her to come in every week to clean, my apartment should really be much more manageable for her - cleaning is afterall based on handling incremental changes. I don’t know where all this dust comes from, but there is no dispute that shanghai is VERY DUSTY.

It kinda reminds me of what I'm trying to do, following on from my last post. This one time onslaught of changes I'm implementing might completely overwhelm me if I don’t watch it. I mean, it's easy for me to do start all these things but they aren’t any good if I can’t keep them up. So the key for me is find a way to integrate them into my life so that it's easier to keep the momentum going.

It has been a fantastic 2 weeks back home. Was able to catch up with the usual suspects I always want to hang out with when I come back - this was truly time well spent. Also found some long-lost friends - like my primary school friend who found me on facebook by going through profile photos of many many people with the same name (hmm guess I look pretty much like when I was a kid). And of course, I managed to do some shopping too (yes I saved up all my money to spend back here to boost the Singapore economy and yes I did find Ion rather disappointing).

It's been a rather busy 2 weeks too, strangely busy I would say. The intention was to spend more time at home with family (especially now that my bro is overseas studying) so I have deliberately tried to do more dinners at home, yet somehow it doesn't feel like I've achieved that objective because they aren't always able to eat with me. And the days when I have dinners out, it's the days they have dinners at home. I need to get better at this – shall schedule dinners next time so that I go out when they are out too. After all, they have their own plans too.

But I realize I have also been quite "pre-occupied" with fluff i.e. things that don't really matter. It's a bad habit I picked up in Shanghai – this laziness of the mind. Maybe work is tiring so I just want to "switch off" when I go home but I now suspect that has just been an excuse for how I have been idling my evenings away. I spend a lot of time and (for lack of a better word) RAM on things that (in hindsight) haven’t been purposeful. As I write this, I’m thinking that "switching off" doesn’t necessarily mean letting the mind and body idle. Or, why should it be a "switch off" rather than a "switch to (a different mode)"?

For instance, I have certainly been lax in my blogging – that is a symptom of a deeper problem. I used to (and still do) think blogging was challenging because it required effort. I admit now that I’ve been very irregular in my blogging because my mind has been lazy. I do journal but it’s been about fluff! I know it’s fluff because if it were anything meaningful, I’d put it up on here to share.

I have also been lax with my body. I’ve fallen pretty sick 3 times this year (and it’s only October) and my complexion has gone to the dumps because of my poor diet, poor sleeping habits and lack of exercise. I tell people I feel all of 30 years now but that’s entirely my fault.

I have also been lazy with my soul. While I still recognize that the Shanghai spiritual environment has been very good for me, I haven’t been making full use of it. I’m just kinda chilling in the waters, not working out my salvation. I’m not chasing the waves, I’m just waiting too see what debris the waves bring to my feet as I stand pretty far away from the shore. What a waste!

Oh then there’s the same recurring problem with relationship-keeping and building. Wow, could anyone have squandered away more time than I have!?!?

In a blog post in February this year, I said that I feel that Papa gave me 1 more year to revive me. I am embarrassed to say that I have not made good use of the past 8 months. I have 11 more months in Shanghai and I am aware now that I should really get myself in shape, in all aspects of the word. So that I will be ready for wherever I’m supposed to be next. This is me holding myself accountable. Please check in on me from time to time, I might hate it but I will need it. Thanks!

Was talking to Jukebox the other day and we were planing our Fall 2012 Europe tour to 10 countries.  Pretty excited about it because i've never toured Europe before, except for popping in and out of the UK, Holland and Finland for work a bit.  So we were budgetting and talking about saving up and stuff, and how we were going to prepare (like making a friend from every country we wanted to visit), and couchsurfing and stuff. 

Fall 2012 is a long time more though.  But it's the furthest i've planned ever.  I realize that i don't have a mid-term plan or a long-term plan.  It bothers me from time to time that i don't know where i want or hope to be.  I think 4 years ago i was pretty career-minded and wanted to climb up the ladder of success in the 1st company i worked for.  Then i switched career paths and in my present job, there isn't a "ladder" to climb anymore, i do well when the companies I am servicing do.  So there isn't a career goal so to speak.

I've been wondering if it's ok not to have mid or long term plans.  It bugs me sometimes that I don't.  Truth is, i don't know where i will be next September.  All i know is my contract got extended another year so this is where i'll be.  And I know that for now, i am in the right place because Papa has been doing some pretty neat stuff in the past year i've been here, and there's more good stuff to come.  And i think there are some things that i'm meant to do for the year coming up here. 

It's when i think of how i can trust Papa to take care of me that i feel better about not fixing my own plans.  I'm learning that he does have better things in store for me if i would just actually look to him more.  And he is taking care of my family than i could ever do myself.  The key is to actually count on him i guess. 

...the new natural wonders of the world!

Saw this deck of slides of the newest natural wonders of the world.  Some are breathtaking.  (Some were photoshopped a bit too much though)

Turns out I'm not the only one who's a fan of Mac's breakfasts.  In my past 3 visits to this particular Mac's near my place, I've noticed this bunch of 6 middle aged men who sit in the middle of the restaurant and have energetic discussions about various topics.  I say various topics because they're speaking Shanghainese, which I don't understand.

They're there every week, before I arrive and stay around after I leave.  They're having a great time.  Talking rather passionately, as if they're discussing on some very important matter.  Then again, they could just be bitching although they wouldn't looks so amiable if they were, bitching gives you a pretty mean facial expression while you're at it (take it from me, I know). 

I guess there comes a time when you can no longer do the Boys' Night Out or Girls' Night Out.  That time is probably when you're married with kids and should be spending nights at home so you can hang with the kids before they sleep.  Or when you're too old and just can't hack the late nights anymore.  So the workaround is Boys' (or Girl's) Morning Out, where 1 parent stays at home to hold the fort with the kids while the other goes out.  Or because you're finding it your body prefers earlier mornings to later nights (which seems to be the case as you get older). 

Trust me, these guys are having a good time.  They sit with their coffees or teas and they move one of the small tables to join together with the one they are gathered around to form a comfortable table size of 8, and then they just sit around and start debating/discussing.  It's just cool to see that they're comfortable in a place like Mac's, which usually comes across as a place for the young to youths to people below 35.

When I grow old, I wanna be like that too.  I wanna have a bunch of friends I can do Sunday breakfasts with in air-conditioned comfort.  Preferably Mac's so that I can have my Sausage McMuffin with Egg at the same time, and oh, that arabica-coffee-beans-brew too :)