que pasa

I used to really hate it when older people started going, "Young people these days..." It usually marks the beginning of a diatribe on how the youth today have degraded morals and values and how the speaker does not understand why certain things and behavior are condoned today when the same would probably have gotten him flogged during in their childhood. Or about how good our life is compared to theirs. I hated these monologues because I honestly did not care what they thought, went through or knew.

Today, I walked past a teahouse and a cybercafé located next to each other. The teahouse was well lit, noisy and crowded. Men were seated at wooden tables of four or five, chatting away as they sip their tea. This is probably their routine Saturday morning teahouse tête-à-tête - catching up with friends and find out what is going on beyond their own lives. The waiters were busy serving food and refilling tea pots with water. I could not hear what people were saying - the voices had melded into a drone - but I could make out laughing, chit-chats and an occasional debate here and there.

Next door, the cybercafé was deathly quiet and dark. Young boys (and a few girls) wore headphones and sat at computer terminals. They stared at the screen either playing their LAN games, checking their email, browsing websites, chatting in internet cafés or instant messaging friends. There was little, if at all, conversation between them; they were interacting with people far away instead of the ones right next to them. The service attendant left them alone; they would come to him if they needed anything. I bet they spend as much time as possible here.

What a contrast! I think I finally grasp what the older folks see when they look at teenagers. The younger generation behaves in a way that they cannot comprehend. Exactly what is so interesting about that machine that one would want to spend the whole day in front of it? How can anything in it beat talking to people face to face? How can computer-generated words and audio files replace natural sights and sounds? Why do violent computer games hold sway over traditional strategy games that challenge and stimulate the mind? Why do they want to sit in the dark the whole day and night when the sun is shining outside?

On the other side, the younger population cannot comprehend life without the internet or cell phones. They struggle to sit still and enjoy the peace and quiet. It baffles them how magnificent monuments like the Egyptian pyramids and the Chinese Great Wall were constructed without today's technology and tools. As a result of prolonged non-physical interaction, I think the social skills of today's youth are sorely lacking. I feel that they are not capable of the business acumen and subtleties that the leaders of their generation will need.

Granted, I am comparing extremes on each side; many young and old people have reached an understanding of each other's lifestyle. And yes, many young people hang out at Starbucks and the like, just like the older folk do at teahouses. But my point is that things have changed so much in the past 10-20 years that it is no easy feat trying to bridge the gap. This happens in every country, but it is particularly obvious in China where transformation is taking place so fast that many are left behind.

I am 26 this year, and I come under the "younger population" described above. But as I walked past the teahouse and cybercafé today, I realized that I would rather be in the former. Has change overtaken me? These days I find that I want to understand a bit more of art, culture and history. The music I grew up with is now called "retro"- oh dear - and I do not appreciate new trends in music. I do not club anymore unless for good reason; I find greater pleasure in the quiet than in the crowd. The meaning of the words like "party", "happening", "cool" have taken on different meanings for me. I pay more attention to older people these days because I am discovering little gems of wisdom in our conversations.

Are these symptoms of growing up or growing old? Is this how the generation gap narrows? Do you know what I mean? Is this what they mean when they say "When you get older, you will understand"?