que pasa

It has been raining for the past three days here. No storm, just a constant downpour. Sometimes heavy, sometimes it lightens up. But it has not seemed to stop. Not that I am complaining, it is a change, and I have been learning that I cannot take things for granted. What a contrast to Zhejiang. It has therefore also been cold these few nights and I snuggle deep under the comforter to stay warm. It does keep me snug, yet there is something really cold about sleeping in a hotel - it will never be a home.

I have been thinking about my blue and white checkered comforter from my days at Penn. It was a gift from Sarah. That one kept me warm physically and in my heart too. When I first came to Penn, all I had were the two pillows and thermal blanket I bought with my dad to settle in. This was Spartan in comparison to my roommate’s bed which had tons of stuffed animals, a body pillow, two pillows - one obviously long used, a thermal blanket, a comforter and one of those back rest things. But I was fine with what I had, until winter came.

I do not know why I did not buy myself a comforter. Why did I sleep in my sweatshirt and long pants, curl up in a fetal position under my thermal blanket, and shiver in the winter nights when my roommate chose to leave a window crack for the chill to come through? I do not know how to take care of myself sometimes. Or am just plain silly.

Anyways, I roomed with Sarah in the second year. With my two pillows and thermal blanket, winter came and she noticed that was all I had. One day I came back after a long day out to see a blue and white checkered Martha Stewart comforter and a Backstreet Boys CD - yes, I actually liked their music before and they serve a purpose for me - on my bed. She told me that I definitely needed something more than that thin blanket. I must have looked like such a poor Chinese kid to her.

For that year and the next - I was at Penn for three years - Sarah and I roomed together. Our dorm was a home. Matty would come by and take naps on our big old floor carpet. We would have people over for dinner, using only our small rice cooker - on the same carpet. XwAvE came over for small group every week, each time followed by this five minute manic shoving of everything under our comforters so that the room would look neat. Once we even had this production line of small Swedish Fish pouches going once. Floor mates would stop by our room for candy - whatever candy was in season - we left by the door. We were so proud to have our room to be the designated dorm room visit when potential frosh came to visit the dorm. Sometimes Sarah and I would put on Backstreet Boys and other assorted teeny-bopper music to dance and jump around like crazy little girls. Sometimes we had to pull all-nighters and we would play the said teeny-bopper music on our computers with headphones plugged in so that we would not disturb whichever of us was sleeping. Sometimes we would lie in our beds and talk to each other until we fell asleep.

Times like this when I am lonely are when Penn memories return. I miss those days.