que pasa

Saturday, August 09, 2008

Not impressed

Googled for reviews on the Beijing Olympics opening ceremony just now and it seems that the world really liked what it saw. Stuff along the lines of "perfect 10", "perfect night" and "rave reviews" were peppered among my search results.

I disagree though. I think the Chinese were trying too hard. I know that it's rare to have such an opportunity when foreigners watch the country with their prior prejudices put aside, but the crash course in the evolution of the nation was absolutely unnecessary.

I also felt that the build up was poorly done. I thought such ceremonies should generally want to peak at the end, but it seemed like the best of it was at the beginning. The countdown, fireworks (29 steps from Tiannanmen Square to the Bird's Nest stadium) and the opening drum act was spectacular. But the rest of the program failed to keep the momentum going, which led to a lull instead. My friends (also foreigners) and I were bored.

What I was really disappointed with was the lack of aerial perspective performances, i.e. formations, play of colors and motion from the bird's eye view. The costumes were very detailed and many of the performances were beautiful if you could actually see them (i.e. front row seats or on tv) but most of the people in the stadium probably couldn't (unless there was something on the big screen). But I felt that if you have so many people performing, then you should really try to maximize the "macro" effect. I guess Zhang Yimou pretty much arranged the opening ceremony to be like one of his movies.

The lighting of the torch (they lifted up the torch-bearer and he did running motions in the air around the stadium) was also tacky and lame. Worst of all, there was a timing screw-up between the speed of the cable and the projection of the scroll unveiling itself. That should have been rehearsed many times, the mistake was unacceptable. Also, the fireworks display at the end was just pure overkill, no choreography at all.

Of course, the Chinese probably do not share my opinion, nor do many of the foreigners who have not seen much of Chinese culture, and the on-site spectators must have been really felt the excitement. They were just ready to be impressed, and I have always been rather critical. I think that Singapore's National Day celebrations are more entertaining, despite being on a smaller scale. And I wouldn't even consider myself a die-hard patriot. (Speaking of which, that's tonight – I'll find out if I have to eat my words. But first I need to find somebody with cable TV so that I can watch it...)

Anyway, I think the Chinese could have done a better job.

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Sunday, June 08, 2008

An open mind

This letter submitted to The Straits Times in Singapore proposes the case that it is not hard to learn Chinese, contrary to what many Singaporeans think.  He gives his instance of how he is now proficient in both English and Chinese because of his open mind.

I didn't think much of the article at first.  In fact, I ignored it when I read the headlines.  Because I thought it was just some Chinese educated guy or someone with a strong Chinese background bragging about how he learn English which to me is no big deal because I do feel that English is much easier than Chinese.  But then I read it anyway because Asiaone had it flashing in its main headlines for quite a few days. 

I didn't like the way he wrote the article.  "Flogging a dead horse," a friend called it.  We get the point already.  I didn't like how he made learning Chinese so easy because I have struggled with Chinese for the longest time, and am still struggling.  I know it's not easy.

But then, I realized that what the writer said could be applied to anything – from a language to a skill to a sport. That having the right mindset is all it takes for success.  Not necessarily good enough to turn professional or specialize at it, but good enough to be comfortable. 

Then I wondered if he could be right in suggesting that I have narrowed my mind to be biased against something and so could never get good at it.  That, apart from uncontrollable factors, I am hindering myself from getting better. 

I have always maintained the position that as far as education is concerned, if the teacher can stir the student's interest in a topic, the student will voluntarily put in all the effort needed to get familiar with it.  The teacher's primary job is to open his mind to the fact that the subject could be interesting, and second, to facilitate the learning by providing materials, knowledge and guidance.

In the same way, if we are interested in a subject, you can be sure we will be googling it, checking out books or talking to people on the matter.  But what if it's a new subject, or something we just can't seem to enjoy?  How can we create the interest in ourselves, so that that will drive our learning?  May I suggest the following ways:

1. Talk to someone who is already interested in the subject.
Ask them what's so fun/interesting/cool about it.  Hear his passion on the matter and just bask in it for a while.  Just listen, try to picture things from his perspective.  Maybe his enthusiasm will catch on.  I remember when a friend passed me a DVD on ultimate frisbee, it was so intense that I wanted to start playing.

2. Try it out. 
This could mean deliberately signing up for one of those one-day crash course thingies – go with a friend – or when the impulse catches you, just walk-in somewhere, or take up an opportunity that presents itself and get your hands dirty.  Sometimes unexpected and unintended exposure to something lets you realize that you have a natural knack or hidden interest in something.  It's like cooking, some people who have never really cooked before can just throw some random stuff together and it tastes pretty darn good!  Or it’s like that time when my friends and I were in Bali, we signed up for this 2 hours basic surfing lesson...  Crispy Prawn certainly impressed me with how fast she got the hang of the whole thing.

3. Realizing it's not that difficult and can be enjoyable/ meaningful. 
Apart from trying something out, if you can observe from the side how something is done, maybe you'll discover you don't have to be such and such to do it.  Take away preconceived notions of qualifying conditions.  Watch the smile, grin, fist pump or shout of satisfaction when the task is completed, look at the result of the task (if something is created) – wouldn't you want to feel that way, or have something like that of your own?

I think there are so many things in life that stop us from trying things out, but we don't make things any easier when we already think we can't do it, or can't be possibly be good at it.  We are already defeated.  Remember, the goal is not turn professional, it's to get comfortable at it. 

And if it so turns out that you really aren't good at it, you can at least say you tried, you know what its like (which will be great for relating with people) and you know yourself a little better now.  But the flipside is also true; you might discover a new interest or natural ability and pursue that further.

Is there something that you want to work on or something you always thought you couldn't do?  See if you can somehow "open your mind".  Once you're hooked, you'll be willing to put in the effort needed to improve.  Then you will get better.  

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Wednesday, March 26, 2008

News: Seven "social" sins

The Vatican has put together a list of seven "social" sins as follows:
1. 'Bioethical' violations such as birth control
2. 'Morally dubious' experiments such as stem cell research
3. Drug abuse
4. Polluting the environment
5. Contributing to widening divide between rich and poor
6. Excessive wealth
7. Creating poverty
(Original article here)

The seven deadly sins are pride, envy, gluttony, lust, anger, greed and sloth.

In one of the early chapters of "The Kite Runner" by Khaled Hussein (which is a pretty good book by the way), one of the characters' father tells his son, with regards to what he's learning in religious school,

'"No matter what the mullah teaches, there is only one sin, only one. And that is theft. Every other sin is a variation of theft. Do you understand that?"

'"When you kill a man, you steal a life… You steal his wife’s right to a husband, rob a children of his father. When you tell a lie, you steal someone’s right to the truth. When you cheat, you steal the right to fairness. Do you see?"'

I can see the logic to that actually, and I think that perspective could be used to interpret the seven deadly sins. I don't quite feel that it is all encompassing though, but good enough for a general rule of thumb.

One thing I have realized is that my position on what constitutes sin is now grey. I can't see things in black and white anymore. As much as the church would like things to be clear, it's very hard to have such high moral standing when life in the commercial world has so many complications.

I've done my share of grey things so I do not have the right to judge. I hate calling sin "sin" because it makes me sound and feel "holier-than-thou" when I’m not. I suppose the solution would be to not participate in grey activities but I realize that in my line of work at where I am, it's impossible. So maybe, you say, I should get out of this job altogether. But that brings us full circle to why I'm here in the first place.

So I'm keeping my eyes focused on my exit, I must keep plugging at it.

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Sunday, March 09, 2008

Living history

So I’ve just finished watching The Tudors, a British TV series (10 episodes) about King Henry VIII when he was young. Stars Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Sam Neill, Jeremy Northam, Henry Cavill, Natalie Dormer among the main cast.

It’s pretty good stuff actually, and Sam Neill’s acting is excellent. The sets and costumes are also lovely and watching this show makes for much more educational and informative entertainment than the B-grade movies that I might have ended up watching alternatively.

I’m not very good with history and I don’t have enough interest level to randomly go read up on any country’s history per se. But watching series like these help bring history to life and makes me go google things up so that I can understand more background and what happened.

I think that if my history classes always incorporated a TV series as part of its syllabus, I would have enjoyed it much more and made more effort to understand it. But then again, I don’t think that the curriculum would have allowed that much time to be spent on one particular part of history. But perhaps that says more about the syllabus planning…

I hope teachers are making good use of the TV series/movies that are available today to bring life and color to a time that seems completely irrelevant to their students. Afterall, once the student is interested, the learning is much faster and voluntary rather than having to attend class just because it's on his timetable.

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Sunday, November 18, 2007

My IKEA holiday

A friend and I were talking about what we do when we need to get away from life in Chengdu. Where we can go to escape. We both like IKEA. It’s one of those places where even though there are other people around, it’s still actually possible to spend time in it in a bubble, as if you’re the only one there. Seeing as I hadn’t been there in a while, I decided to back for a visit.

So, I’ve always kinda liked IKEA, but ever since I’ve been here I LOVE IKEA (if I had a car a bumper sticker that said that, I’d put the bumper sticker on rightaway). I never buy furniture though, I don’t want to have to deal with furniture when I leave this place. I have enough stuff to move already.

It’s Christmas at IKEA. They’ve totally got the Christmas mood down pat. The faint Christmas music is on, the living room layouts give the nice and cosy feeling and even smell woody. The fake windows have Christmas lights too. Love the living room ideas!

I walk through the kids’ bedroom section. It isn’t just the place where parents-to-be’s and parents new borns hang around. There are these teenagers loitering around, ogling at the room layouts too. The expressions on their faces make me think that they’re wishing they had such a gorgeous room when they were kids, and that if they were really young again, this is exactly how they want their room to be.

But the kid’s toy section must be the happiest section of all. Bright colors, cute toys, happy gurgling children. It’s like kid’s heaven. The boys and girls are smiling away, parents are video-recording their kids playing. I bet the kid’s section makes the most money. How could these parents bear to not buy the toys that turn their only child into an angel?

Bedsheets section. They don’t have my favorite bedsheet set anymore. The one with the white base and a humungous strawberry smack in the centre that I really liked as a kid. Anybody’s gotta have sweet dreams sleeping in that!

Other thoughts that come to mind as I walk about…
… wait, is that the Macarena song I’m hearing? I thought it was Christmas! Huh.
… ooh pillow. OOOH.
… hmm, I wonder where they got that shirt/bag that they’re using as a display prop from? I’d buy it if they sold it.
… gosh, the stationery looks good. I really want to buy this notebook.
… postcards. Whoopie! Gotta get me some of those! Dammit, what’s with the funky heart designs? Ah yes, this set is much better (throws into big yellow ikea bag)
… lights. What in the name of woogabooga is that light supposed to be? It looks like freakin’ Medusa’s head!!!
… candles. (The pyromaniac in me awakes, starts sniffing at the various scents and stashes two into the big bag)
… plants. Oh I wish Henry, my only plant from IKEA, made it through Chinese New Year holidays 3 years ago (I’d left it in the office during the weekend and the 2 days of holiday that followed, when I came back it had wilted)

Then the cafeteria. Lovely. The place where practically everything you use (cutlery, silverware, furniture, coffee, food, etc) is from IKEA or somewhat Swedish. I think the IKEA cafeteria brings out the best in the local people.

In the cafeteria, the local people somehow are willing to do developed-nation type things like self-service (going through the food line while carrying your own tray). Like bringing your tray of used plates et al to the place where you stack your trays after meals. Like kicking the dirty napkins from under your table so that the sweeper lady can sweep them up more easily.

Or maybe it’s the nice violin music played by the two students seating right in the centre of the eating area of the cafeteria that makes people more civilized. They must be students because they’re trying to figure out the notes of the score or something right before they play, and I could have sworn that they made a few mistakes… but then who am I to talk? I’m no maestro. Anyway, my point is, there’s no loud talking like there is in the local restaurants.

But one thing that still reveals these people as local people is the number of people who are not eating Swedish meatballs. I mean hello? If you’re gonna eat at IKEA, shouldn’t you be eating something Swedish? They’re eating things like rice with some Chinese-y looking stew. Looks spicy too. So not Swedish. Somebody should tell this people they’re doing it all wrong, but it ain’t gonna be me. I wanna live one more day.

Alright, I’ve had 2 cups of coffee and it’s time to go. But I’ll be back!

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Monday, November 12, 2007

Sunday pickings

Have you ever noticed..

… how the more expensive the car, the gentler the horn?  And conversely, the cheaper/crappier the car, the nastier the honk?  There are way too many cheap and crappy cars here.

… how on the streets filled crazy drivers, the more trashed up car always gets its way because the only the driver of a trashed up car has the guts to stick his car right in your face, claim right of way even though he has none, because the trashed car driver has nothing to lose since his car is so trashed up already and the nice, new, elegant/snazzy/cool car driver doesn’t want his to end up looking like the trashed car driver’s?

… in the street overcrowded with all sorts of automobiles, the biggest vehicles always seem to get their way because the puny (even if trashed up ones) would get totally rolled over if they didn’t give way to the buses and the trucks?  And that the entire road would get jammed if they didn’t let the bus/truck go where they had to go?  But yet even the buses and trucks have to give way to the old aunties who go out shopping pilgrimage on a Sunday and are on their way back home and decide to cross the road en masse?  I don’t care how big or crappy your vehicle is, you have nothing, I repeat NOTHING, over the old granny mob. 

… people only do put in the effort to better when performance evaluation comes around?  The contract of the property management at my apartment complex is up for renewal and suddenly the staff bust out the hose and scrubs out of nowhere to clean the tiles on the grounds (something they should have done a long time ago), the lights are changed to make each floor brighter?  They even have this very reflective/apologetic letter pasted on the public announcement board admitting their shortcomings (albeit at a very general level) and have promised to improve.  The guard at the gate even gives all residents a salute now as you pass them. 

… how your pillow can make all the difference when you sleep?  I bought myself a new pillow yesterday because my neck has been starting to ache.  So I got one of those ergonomic pillows… yeah, the one with the curvy shape.  Oh baby, I’m looking forward to tonight’s sleep already.

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Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Catching up is tricky business

I met an old friend recently. I call him an old friend because we were once working together in an organization and the team had some pretty good times. Then again we were always working in a team and did not build a friendship between us. We have not been in touch for more than 10 years perhaps and before we met that day, I wondered what it would be like. 

He’s still the same I guess. Except that he now has a gorgeous wife and a little baby girl as well. We met up in a group setting so we didn’t get to talk that much one-on-one. We also move in totally different circles now. So it was a little hard to find the click. It’s hard to imagine I used to like him – I see now why it wouldn’t have worked then, and now.

Anyway, about the catching up business. It’s tough especially when you are under constraints of time or environment (e.g. group setting). And when you have been apart for so long and have moved out of each other’s life circles, the click doesn’t come back so easy – if it ever existed. I guess I’ll still keep contact with him once in a while – it is nice to have found an old friend.

I also met up with another set of people, one of them was my ex-boss where I interned once, the rest were his wife and kids. With them it wasn’t so much a catching up perhaps because catching up is hard to do. To describe what has happened in all this time is too tiring – not because we have achieved so much, but because it isn’t important now. Some friendships are just like that. Just a quick one or two sentences on what you have been up to stuff the time gap and then we continue on from the present. You can give the details later when the topic resurfaces.  What's important now is the emotional click.

Then there was an old high school friend I had coffee with the other day. Although we were in the same class, we didn’t talk much then apart from the casual conversation and teasing. It was really nice to reminisce the old days and connect on that, and bring the connection to our present day selves. As we chatted, I knew that I had changed some since high school days, I said to him, “The person I was then wouldn’t have been able to connect with you the way I do today.”

Catching up is tricky business. You need to click to make it work, if not it’ll just be small and tiring talk.  Sometimes the click comes from who you are and always have been, sometimes from who you aren't anymore.  It's funny like that.

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Monday, September 24, 2007

Localization

In IT projects, localization means that you customize the application to accommodate practices, procedures, content, etc specific to that geographical region. In cultural terms, it basically means “In Rome, act as the Romans do.”

I am now able to understand and speak some of the local dialect. I know one swear word. I know pretty much how to whine like the local girl. I know how to stare at disbelief when streetside vendors or trishaw riders quote me their opening price (in the hope of getting a lower price).

I even know how to snatch cabs. I never thought I’d sink to that level. It has happened to me a lot ever since I came here. People here don’t wait in line or at one place for a cab. You may have been waiting at the curb for a while, but it’s quite common to see another person (women especially) walk a little bit in front of you and try to flag the cab down for herself.

Or, you may have flagged down the cab but then somebody (again, most likely a woman) will just come up, open the door and get it before you can even say “What the hey?!?!” If you even try to say anything, you may get an angry snap from the woman who thinks you’re being rude.

I remember the first cab I literally snatched right under another person’s nose. This was last September when my friends from Singapore came to visit. We were in the shopping district and it was incredibly hard to get a cab. Even if we did flag one down, it got grabbed by some other girl. So I did what I had to do.

The next cab I saw and flagged down, I saw another 2 girls moving towards it. I raced to the shotgun seat, opened the door and got in before those 2 did. I waved at Jukebox and Mr. SaQiMa to get in, and we drove off. They were quite stunned, judging from the momentary silence. You don’t behave so rudely in Singapore. I tried to defend myself with a “You’ve got to be like that otherwise we won’t get a cab.” But I did feel rather low.

I haven’t had to snatch another cab until recently, when my dad came into town to visit. As usual, we had problems getting a cab. When I finally saw an empty one coming my way, this guy walked up ahead of me and tried to flag it first. I beat him to the back seat door, told him this cab was mine because I was waiting first, got in and called my dad to join me. The guy was a bit shocked I think. My dad too. The taxi driver thought I was brave, but again, I felt a little bit low for doing what I did.

I’d say there’s nothing wrong in adapting to local practices to make life easier. But the problem comes when the area you’re localizing to is more backward then where you’re from… People from home start to see the difference/ deterioration in you and their inadvertent response makes you feel like a country bumpkin.

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Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Hang in there, ride the bear

I looked at my investments today. Markets have been rather jittery lately, but I think things are looking up from here.
If there’s one thing that I’ve learnt from investing it’s that you have to go in with a long term angle. Which means other lessons like understanding what you’re getting into, knowing your risk appetite, and above all, hanging in there.

Sounds a bit like life actually, especially mine.

- Give what you’re prepared to lose.  I’m not saying go in with a defeatist attitude.  But you’ve got to have a rough idea of how much you can chew. 

- Be picky, don’t rush. The cost of holding out beats the risk, and possibly loss, incurred when you make a decision in haste or without sufficient knowledge. Of course by the time you reach a point when you know everything you need to know, you may have missed the boat. So you’ll have to go in with a calculated risk.

- Know what you’re getting into. Be as mentally prepared as possible for what lies ahead. So that when shit happens, it won’t knock the wind out of you completely. And when the better times come by, you feel good knowing you were expecting it already.

- There are ups and downs, which is fine, but you should work towards a generally upward trend. Of course it's going to be rough, and it doesn't matter what the slope of your success/achievement/improvement curve is, just try hard for an upwards slope.

- Every ounce of results comes with its according sacrifice. You might get a lucky break here and there, but don’t count on it.

- When things go bad (they can go pretty bad and for a while), you have to hold on. To give up is to lose whatever it was you were working your ass off for. Ride the bear.

I like that last one, “ride the bear”. :)

Anyway, just a little chicken soup for the soul here.  Haha.

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Friday, August 24, 2007

Make a difference

I spent about 2 hours reading Miles Levin’s blog a few nights ago after reading about him in this article. 

Miles Levin was an 18, almost 19, year old boy with a pediatric cancer called alveolar rhabdomyosarcoma, a cancer that strangles the muscle tissues.  He launched his blog in 2005 and by the time he was done with this side of creation, he had about 15,000 bloggers responding to him monthly.

Here are some quotes from his blog that move me:
"Dying is not what scares me; it's dying having had no impact. I know a lot of eyes are watching me suffer; and -- win or lose -- this is my time for impact."

“Your biological vitality means very little – having a beating heart and operational lungs does not define you. Your effect on the world around you does. Once you fulfill that service, your shift is done. You’re off work and it’s time to go home.”

In response to what was one thing that would make this world a better place, he said, “Kindness.”

I mean, when you read his blog, you start to think this boy is an angel.  Especially with how he sees life despite being so sick.  It made me wonder if I were this ill, could I die with so much grace.

This boy made a difference to the world as he knew it.  He had a condition that he fully leveraged on and reached 15,000 people. 

While we may never be in the position to affect so many, and I hope we never have to be as sick as Miles was to do so, I think we should all try to make this world a better place, and I’m not talking about world peace.  More like being a ray of sunshine to somebody, a shot of hope in the arm, a random act of kindness. 

We can all use the love.

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Monday, August 20, 2007

International signs of sports achievement

Have you noticed…

… ever since Tiger Woods started the fist pump, other golfers and athletes in other sports seem to do that too now after they score a point? 

… more and more people are taking off their shirts and flinging it around after they score goals or gain victory?

… after scoring a soccer goal, the scorer always does the “soaring eagle run”?  (The “soaring eagle run” being that the guy runs around the soccer pitch, with his arms stretched out like wings and mouth open wide)

… stomach baring and stretching their jerseys over their faces is becoming more popular? 

Here’s are some photos of China’s Lin Dan (World No. 1 (or at least top 3) in badminton) after he won the World Badminton Championships.  He does the fist pump, the stomach baring and jersey stretching over face.  If the court were big enough, I bet he’d do the soaring eagle run too.  After all, he’s got his mouth open wide already.

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Friday, August 10, 2007

Internet anonymity? Whatever.

I finally decided to show Jose his kids’ blogs recently. I did tell him though not to leave any comments and to not talk to his children about what they blogged about directly, else they’d stop writing or change blogs altogether. Since he is away from his family for most of the time, and most kids rarely tell their parents what’s bugging them, I thought this was a good way for him to know what his kids were cared and thought about.

There’s just something about the internet, isn’t it, that makes us feel strangely protected. We suddenly have the guts to put in writing things we don’t say out loud. Sometimes, we’d rather tell the things that really get to us to strangers who visit our website and select people we’ve introduced to our blog, rather than our own family, especially our parents – the ones who love us the most.

The funny thing is, we’re nowhere near being anonymous. We’re definitely going to get found. We put our name, picture, little pieces of information about ourselves and friends on the blog.

There are those of us who bitch or talk about our experiences with, specific people on our blog so that the whole world will know that this is what we think, yet we’re not brave enough to give the whole thing to the other party man-to-man. What’s with this roundabout way of making sure what we think gets to the other side? Do we think that it won’t come around if we do it via the internet?

I think such blogging is a cry for help and attention that we’re not getting. Like we’re having problems or issues but we don’t know or dare to get help from the right places, so we just stick our frustrations out there so that we can be heard somehow. It is also a sign that we don’t know how to communicate directly anymore or we’re afraid of confrontation. We use these little ways - blogs, nicknames, metaphors, personal messages next to our names on IM - to clue the world in on how we feel. But we don’t say it to the party concerned. We’re chicken.

It is true that communicating in text (i.e. SMS, IM, letters, emails) can be more meaningful and thoughtful and therefore better for both parties. However, when it comes to blogging about our personal lives, I find it sad to think that perhaps the best way for us to let people know who we really are and what we truly think and feel is so indirect.

Of course, not everybody uses their blogs for personal rants and raves, there is a huge population of professional bloggers who keep their personal lives, personal, and those who have personal blogs but don’t tell all on their sites. But if you relate to what I’m saying, you might also see the despair I am beginning to see surfacing through the world wide web.

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Sunday, July 08, 2007

Perspective: The new 7 wonders

I wrote last time that they were re-electing the 7 wonders of the world, and that Egypt wasn’t too happy about it having to fight for its place.

Latest update is that Egypt has been awarded an honorary position as a wonder of the world, and that the new 7 wonders are:
- Great Wall of China, China
- Petra, Jordan
- Christ the Redeemer (statue), Brazil
- Machu Picchu, Peru
- Chichen Itza, Mexico
- Colosseum, Italy
- Taj Mahal, India

I looked up the subject on wikipedia. Apparently, the first list of the world’s 7 wonders was by Antipater of Sidon, ancient Greek writer and poet. And the Greek category was not "Wonders" but "theamata", which translates closer to "must-sees". And it seemed that idea of 7 monuments that show the significance of Mankind was so greatly treasured it was kept alive between families, passed from generation to generation.

Today we are still celebrating the magnificence of still existing works done by Man. I wonder if this need to pat ourselves on our backs for the beautiful things we have done comes in response to the destruction the same hands have wrought in this world. Also, we don’t seem to be creating any new wonders…

For those of you interested, they’re taking nominations for the new 7 wonders of nature till 8 August 2008 at www.new7wonders.com.

Here’s another site you may be interested in, Hillman’s Top 100 wonders of the world, each wonder comes with its own webpage, with a photo and description.

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Monday, June 18, 2007

Some things that don’t change

Eating the same soup for dinner for three nights because that’s how long it took me to finish it by myself has made me think about being alone. Of course, I’ve also been watching Ally McBeal, so it’s a double whammy.

It sucks to eat the same soup for three dinners. Actually it was three dinners over four nights because I couldn’t stand eating it again last night, so I cheated and ate something else. I didn’t throw the soup away because it is good soup and we really shouldn’t waste food. I couldn’t have made a small serving because Chinese soups are never made in 1 person servings. Anyway.

So, rather than launch into a monologue of What’s Great About Being Single since we all know the answers and I suspect will somehow make me sound like some sort of loser, I’d rather spend my time thinking up some similarities of being alone and having a Significant Other. By “Significant Other”, I loosely define that as being with someone who is significant to you, regardless of your official status.

Ok, here we go:

1. It’s hard to cook dinner. Too much effort from start to finish and too few mouths to prepare enough dishes to have some variety. It usually means leftovers. And if you’re working, it’s too tiring to cook dinner too.
2. Laundry and ironing can be irritating. Not enough to make a laundry load if you’re the sort to do laundry everyday or if you sort your colors and darks; and too much to iron, however frequent you iron.
3. You’ll always be a kid in your parents’ eyes. Doesn’t matter if you’re 50 and single, or married with kids. Mom is still going to ask you if you’ve eaten, did you do this, and if you did that. Dad is still going to give you advice like he really knows better even if he doesn’t. We love them, of course.
4. Plants still die under your non-green thumb. I think some people think (at least I think I might be one of them) that if you’re attached, you have this sudden ability to care for another thing… like a plant. But it still dies. Even if it’s a cactus.
5. The things you thought were funny then are still funny now. I’ve heard that one’s character may change some after they get attached and stuff. But I don’t think one’s sense of humor and fun changes any because your Other probably laughed at the same things that tickled you when you were dating and it’d be nice to continue laughing at the same things for as long as you’re together.

I’m sure there are more, if you think of any, leave a comment. Thanks!

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Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Sightings at KFC

I was at KFC last Friday. With my iPod. It’s a strange experience, eating at KFC and listening to your iPod when it’s playing jazz or some sort of relaxing music. I mean, fast food is like hip and happening, and then I’m like this old fogey who’s just picking away at her chicken slooowly.

Speaking of chicken, it never ceases to amaze me why people bother going to KFC if they don’t eat chicken. Instead they order a box of egg tarts. It’s like how my bro used to give me funny looks when we ordered a banana split but I refused to eat the banana.

In other sightings, there was this boy sitting at the next table. Well, he wasn’t really sitting. He was quite restless. His mom was busy using her phone – text messaging or something. But this boy just couldn’t sit still. At some point he ended up under the table and started poking at his mom… down there. I didn’t want to stare, so I could only watch out of the corner of my eye. So I could be wrong about the exact part he was prodding at, but either way, it looked really bad.

The mom seemed nonchalant and just tried to wave him off like a fly or something. Didn’t work. I was wondering how long she was going to take this crap from her son when she suddenly pulled him out from under the table and whacked him pretty hard. That’ll show him, I thought. Three seconds later, the kid hit his mom back hard too. At this point I was starting to get excited at the prospect of a mom-son fight, but then the daughter showed up (from the washroom I think) and then they left the premises. Oh well. No show.

I moved my attention to this grandma and her grandson. Grandson was drinking his strawberry milkshake, Grandma was eating egg tarts… yeah, another one of those people. Anyway, she keeps offering the egg tart to her grandson who looks like he really doesn’t want it. He looks a little irritated.

Grandma goes to the washroom and leaves grandson at the table. Cleaner staff comes along and asks if he can clear the tray. Grandson says yes. Wrong answer. Grandma comes back, starts yelling at the boy. Can’t hear what she says (‘cos I have my iPod on) but she is really giving it to the kid, in front of everybody. I guess she must have had some food she wanted to bring back but was the tray was unfortunately cleared. I think it was the blue box of food.

This goes on for like 5 minutes, then grandma stands in line to buy stuff. Sure enough, she walks away with a carrier containing the blue box and some other food. It’s a bad case of “Who moved my Blue Box?”

Now my curiosity is stoked. I wonder if the egg tarts are good. And what is in that blue box anyway?

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Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Beach moments

I was strolling at East Coast Park in Singapore yesterday.  It really hit me how we are so much better off than Chinese people in general.

People renting bikes to cycle – it’s a form of recreation here, something you don’t do often, not a mandatory or commonly seen form of transportation.  Let’s not even talk about roller blading.

Runners with heartbeat measuring devices strapped across their chests, and Singapore Biathlon banners hanging off lampposts – fitness is something people strive for rather than being fit as a result of hard labor or the lack of abundant food.

Tents, families camping and barbecuing – its so easy for families to get together here unlike families kept apart so that they can go work and study.

I’m not saying that everybody in China is poor and deserves our pity.  They don’t want our pity anyway.  I’m saying that we need to be aware of what we have and be glad for it.

On a different point, I saw these two really cute blonde boys with helmets on their little bikes with trainer wheels.  They had just come out of the bike rental shop and their very pregnant mom was walking behind them.  The older boy was off in a jiffy pedaling his heart out to go as fast as his wheels could take him, which wasn’t all that fast, but he was psyched.

The younger boy kept turning around to see where his mom was and nearly cycled into this older Indian woman.  His mom had to call him to look at where he was going instead of looking back all the time.  He seemed rather unsure and he would stop regularly to wait for his mom to catch up.  And then his mom would give him a push and set him off again, only to stop a bit further up to wait for his mom.  I think he liked being “launched” off by his mom and knowing that he could return to “base” anytime.

Before I turned off, I caught up with the mom and said, “You have two beautiful boys.”  She laughed and said, “Thank you.  I just want them to be happy.” 

I walked away thinking that is the kinda thing only parents say.  Husbands, wives, boyfriends and girlfriends may think that, which is well and good, but only moms and dads seem to come outright to say it without any hesitation.  Strange isn’t it?

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Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Silent Night

Tonight is a silent night. Because I am alone in the apartment. Usually Jose is around and we watch TV but now that I am alone, I get to sit in the living room quietly. All I hear is the air-conditioner blowing hot air and the sound of my fingers tapping away at the keyboard as I type these words.

It is only 910pm but I am not planning on going out because I have showered, which means that I am very clean. I do not want to go out on the streets and get dust on myself. (Yeah, this is one of my quirks. When I am very clean, I try to keep that way for as long as possible.)

I realize that I should appreciate this moment because next Saturday, Jose's family is coming over to visit for a month. Just like last year, they will be staying with us. I think it is nice to have company, but I am not quite sure what they will be doing for a month. I mean, Chengdu is nice for a short holiday, but for a month. Hmmm, I wouldn't even ask my family or friends to come over for a month. But then again, since they are on holiday, they do have all the time in the world and so they could check out the scenic spots beyond Chengdu. Of which I have heard there are many, if you have the luxury of time to travel to them.

I guess I should get a couple of things done before they get here. Like clean up the shoe cabinet. Not that it is dirty. But I need to make space for their shoes. I really cannot help that I have that many shoes... there is one for every purpose. Girls you know what I mean. I should probably do a cleanliness inspection and get Auntie Yin to work on areas which need attention. Make sure we have supplies I guess - toilet paper, tissues, bread, eggs, stuff like that. That should be about it.

I have never lived with another family (other than mine) that long before. I mean, it is one thing to visit somebody's for thanksgiving or winter break or spring break, but that never goes up to a month. And usually when I visit, it is the holidays and there is stuff to do. Plus we are friends so no problems hanging out. But this time I will be working, and while I know Jose's family, we are not close, so I expect I will feel like an outsider at some point.

Yet at the same time I think it will be quite nice to have other people around. Maybe Mrs Jose can whip up a great dinner, mmm... and maybe the teenage sons will be fun to hang out with, hmmm... We shall see...

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Friday, November 03, 2006

Little nothings

I wrote a letter to my friend in prison. My friend seems be holding up reasonably well. No point getting all depressed and upset I suppose.

I thought it would be hard to write the letter, what do you write to someone behind bars? Apparently They read, and sometimes block, the letters coming in and going out. Something about not talking too much about what is going on inside, or what is going on outside. So if you cannot talk too much about anything, what does the letter contain?

Anyway, I just wrote, was not really sure what I would end up with. When I finished, I realized that the letter was full of little nothings. I would respond to a sentence my friend had made and then that would launch me off into a little blurb. Or a walk down memory lane about something we used to do as kids. Or little funny ideas that came to mind regarding some small thing mentioned in the letter.

In general, we cannot always be talking about important things. I mean, they are important, but to talk about them all the time would be too intense. We cannot always be talking about our significant other - some of us do not have such a person in our lives, and I think it would bore people after a while. We cannot always be ranting about the injustices of this world - life was never fair in the first place. It is hard for friends out of the industry to relate to our work so that topic is sidelined too. It is not possible to always to have a bad encounter or argument everyday to bitch about. Not everyone can talk politics. So we are left with the little nothings.

What are the little nothings? The visit to hairdresser, dentist. Company event. What to do when you really cannot get hold of hairspray. Skin drying up from working in an air-conditioned environment all the time. A potential crush and how it does not work out. What you observed on the way to work. Who's pregnant, who's getting married, who's getting attached. Memories. Something you saw that reminded you of something else. Random weirdness. Something you tried or want to try. New toy. New modification for the car. Thinking (although not necessarily doing anything) about getting fit again. Wondering what's going on with so-and-so. Your pet.

Little nothings are not small talk because small talk is about filling up space and things you do not really care about. Little nothings are the seemingly nonsensical, random, insignificant, funny events and thoughts that fill up our lives and our minds, which somehow end up being a significant part of our world.

Maybe this is what communication is about - the little nothings that become something. So next time you think someone is rambling and start to switch off, think twice. Maybe he or she is really telling you what's up. After all, you did ask.

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Thursday, October 12, 2006

Hello, world

I think getting the computer to print "Hello, world" is the first program of every computer programming course. I remember how easy it made programming seem at the start until endless hours in the computer lab told me otherwise.

But anyways, I brought that up because that is how I feel some days. As if everything that I have seen is just a very small bit of what this world and this life is.

Because a new experience, thought or idea has come by and it is nothing like what I encountered before. Another reminder that I am still a frog in the well, and that there is still so much that I am ignorant of. Or have not considered before. Or how inexperienced I am.

Sure, sometimes I can hold my head up and say about other people, "I have seen more than you. You have no idea what you do not know. It is a very rough world out there." But it seems that as I see more, the same also applies to me.

Which makes me think that maybe the phrase "Ignorance is bliss" might actually hold some weight. Okay, maybe not "bliss" exactly but perhaps the key to contentment, which then allows one to feel happy about their situation. Which is why I envy my friends who are simpler than me, or lead simpler lives than mine.

You know those movies about people who come out to the big bad world or the big cities or the big corporations to get some "real-life" experience and then they get roughed up out there? They all seem to realize at the end of the day they always had what they needed to be happy.

It is as if they went one big round to come back to their starting point. Funny how we do not realize how good we have it till after we get through the rough patches.

What am I saying? First, I think going out there makes you appreciate what you had or what you left behind. And in most cases, it is not too late to you're your appreciation. Second, I think going out there makes you more humble because as they say, "The more you know, the more you know you do not know."

So go on and live life and explore as much as you can. Because you are only young once and you only live once. But do not forget to reflect because that is when you really learn the lessons of life.

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Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Different paths

Sometime back in the late 80s or the early 90s, the Singapore Broadcasting Corporation (now Television Corporation of Singapore) produced this Chinese TV series about three girls who grew up together, but due to different circumstances in their lives ended up leading very different lives.

At that time, I was still a child and I thought that this was just drama and the script writer did a good job at story telling so that the audience would keep watching. Now as I look at the paths the friends I grew up with have taken, I know that a group of friends taking such divergent paths actually reflect real life, and that it was not just fiction spun up by somebody.

I wonder how far we have met our parents’ expectations. I wonder if our parents ever thought that we would traverse such paths. I wonder what they think as they observe the first third of our lives.

It seems like parents are destined to live their lives in worry. Education. Friends. Relationships. Character development. Career decisions. Family planning. Personal goals and ambitions. Etc. Etc. Etc.

If a couple only has one child, then they pin all their love, resources and hopes on this child. And that is a lot of pressure on that kid. Many turn out well and make their parents proud. But there are also those who think about how they should have had another kid “just in case” when they look at their only child in disappointment.

Yet, if the kid has siblings, that also results in comparison and competition, and that is stress too. I remember comparing myself with my bro a lot and it took me quite a while before I finally snapped out of it. I realized that I would never be the same as my brother and that there was no need to be in order to be proud of myself, and for my parents to be proud of me.

I think all those times when people do not really mean it when they say to their kids, “Why can’t you be more like your brother/sister?” They do not want exact replicas, I think it is just a convenient way to show what kind of behavior they hoped the child would have. Yet I think it is one of the worse ways to communicate that message. Because such feedback from the parent does not allow a child to understand that it is the behavior that the parent wants him to emulate, not the person. At least “Why can’t you be more obedient to your teacher?” would be better even though it needs more work.

A friend was just sentenced to prison for five years for a crime that I did not expect him to commit. By the time he is released, he will be in his thirties and I wonder what he is going to do then. This is another of those things you read in the news that you think will never happen to anybody in your life. I know his family is hurting. What does it feel like to have the police come to your home and take your son away, and then go through months of trial to hear a sentence of five years?

I guess his parents must be wondering where they went wrong. How did they, in their genuinely good intentions, bring up their child to make decisions that led to crime? Is it their fault? Whose fault is it? Is it anybody's fault? How did something like that happen?

I hope that regardless of your background and your circumstances, you will find your place in this world so that you can be proud of who you are. And that your family is too.

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Saturday, July 29, 2006

Long distance relationships

Last week, Kwi, who went home almost two months ago, broke up with his girlfriend here. Between the stress of transitioning back home and the pressure given by his folks and friends about having a Chinese girlfriend, he caved and initiated the break up. He now feels really stupid but she will not talk to him.

Thing is, the solution to the hurt is not just a matter of getting back together. It is hard to be emotionally together yet physically apart. A good friend once told me that the reason why she and her long distance boyfriend broke up was that it was like having a baby and not being able to see him grow up. You would never appreciate the other person’s life, experience factors influencing the other person’s decisions, and that person’s character would continue to develop in a direction you could not really understand.

Long distance is not for the faint-hearted. It demands so much. It takes so much trust, requires concerted effort to keep communications open and regular, and expects full commitment to be interested in the other person’s life no matter what happens in yours or how tired you are. Life is hard enough alone, harder when there is another intimately involved, much more so when your partner is apart.

Would I discourage my friends considering long distance relationships? Yes. Because they should seriously deliberate how tough it is going to be, decide to overcome all that before entering into such a relationship with the other person.

I failed to do that with Kwi. I should have been the skeptic and questioned him whether he really wanted to do a long distance relationship. I think he did not realize how tough it would be. He probably did not adequately consider the stress of transitioning to his culture at home and how his folks and friends would react. I did not do my job as a friend. Perhaps I could have prevented this.

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Tuesday, June 20, 2006

And it all came tumbling down

There is this old run down building next to the hotel next to my apartment block. From our apartment we can see it clearly and we noticed the other day that there was some construction work going on. Well, maybe not construction, but more like demolition.

There were these machines there knocking at the ground level walls and pillars and I guess they thought that was the right thing to do. When my GM realized that, he told me that it was an accident waiting to happen. He specializes in construction engineering, among many other subjects. He said that they shouljd have brought those machines up to the top of the building and demolish from the top, not the bottom. Because demolishing from the bottom means you destabilize the entire building and the whole structure is very likely to collapse.

True enough, that is exactly what happened yesterday - one day after my GM made that prediction. I did not get to see it but my GM heard a really loud crash and when he looked out of the window, the entire left wing of that old building had collapsed. Apparently, dust filled the sky and the dust was thickly scattered in the vicinity, even up to our apartment on the 12th floor. People were gathering at the base of the huge pile of rubble and they were pointing at the rubble and discussing the incident.

Then by the time I came by to look, these machines had started working on the rubble, as if trying to dig stuff out. I think people must have been trapped under the heap. They are probably dead by now. I think they were probably illegal workers and poorly trained ones. Maybe the developer was trying save money by not hiring the right staff or hiring a crane to lift the machines up to the top and demolish the building the correct and safer way. Goodness knows how stable or unstable the rest of the building is now.

Today, they were still working on the heap of rubble. At this rate, it looks like the work will go on for the whole month. Which means more noise and dust for us. Maybe they are trying to dig up the bodies so that the government will not catch them. The sad thing is, If those were really illegal workers that died, then there would be no record of their employment, and their families will never know what happened to them. Just another few people disappearing from a population of 1.3 billion, barely a dent in the works…

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Friday, May 12, 2006

Rice bowls and survival skills

Read an article on Pinky’s blog post about whether Singaporeans are survival smart and if our method of government has anything to do with that (click here for article). Being one of those “out there”, I thought I was in a fair position to respond. After all, I have commented before on how all those horror stories of Singaporeans getting cheated and conned overseas are true.

The article mentioned that Singaporeans have peasant culture and pretty much only bother about their rice-bowls. I say every normal human being, not just Singaporeans, looks out for his self-interest. More so today than before. "What do I get out of this? What will happen to me if that happens?" All acts of philanthropy, generosity and kindness are not void of some desire that such acts will cause society, or otherwise, to give recognition and acknowledgement to the doer. Peasant or not, we are all the same, in that sense at least.

The article also alluded to how our government’s strong-handedness in running the country may have resulted in the evolution of the naïve Singaporean lacking in street-smartness. Whether our government has chosen the right path, I can only say that history proves a man (or government, in this case) right and that its actions and decisions should be considered given the circumstances. When Singapore became independent, the people chose democracy over communism, and the need for racial harmony and social order was strong.

Our government has not faired that poorly. Singapore is recognized as one of the best managed countries in the world. We now enjoy a relatively safe and protected, almost incubatory, environment to grow up in. Social peace. Reasonably easy to get things done. Thank God for that... quit complaining about the downsides all the time!

The Singaporean though, is not an absolute idiot void of survival skills. We have our fair share of office politics, back-stabbing and what nots. The Singaporean has learnt how to protect his rice bowl in such an environment. Unfortunately, when he gets lured to the unstructured markets he is not used to in order to chase the opportunities and conditions to "make it big", he does kinda get whacked left, right and centre out there.

It is true: Singaporeans have a lot to learn from other nationalities in terms of being more business-savvy, being sharper at grabbing and making opportunities, and learning how to come out tops in an unstructured environment. So you happen to be one of those who are still in Singapore, encourage others to go out there and rough it out, and make sure you give them all the support they will surely need, because it is only through them - their guts, blood, sweat and all the health risks associated with poor diet and high stress - and that we will learn and help our people get smarter and wiser.

But if you have chosen to take that step out, let me just say that it is an experience worth getting. It opens your eyes and your mind. It challenges you in every way. It is no piece of cake - that is an understatement, really - but you will realize that even if you had a chance to reverse that decision, you would still do it all over again. You are learning better how to protect your rice-bowl, and there really is nothing wrong with that. We are merely human.

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Thursday, May 11, 2006

Poli-tic-tacs

When I realized that Singapore was having its elections on May 6 this year, and that I actually got to vote, for the first time in my life I actually kept going to www.asiaone.com to keep up on the run up to election, and I read the daily paper everyday when I was at home. I attended rallies. I even had an opinion on the situation!

Some of my thoughts, "poli-tic-tacs", follow:

1. If you are going into politics, you are metaphorically walking around naked in public. Expect intense scrutiny, personal attacks and much gnashing of teeth - both yours and your enemies.

2. There is no such thing as first world politics. Which country is considered first world or has first world politics anyway?

3. If you are going to start pointing out problems with the current system, then also be prepared to give solutions. How would anyone feel that his future was more secure by voting for a problem raiser who never even thought about how to resolve the very issues he was digging up?

4. Sympathy-votes means different yardsticks are being used. Had the incumbent's members messed up at some application, the people and the contesting parties would have ripped that person apart. Why should any kindness or grace be extended to the opposition in the political arena?

5. Tactics that worked in the past may not work as well now. Maybe in the past, a massive onslaught on your opponents' personality or character may have convinced that generation of voters to your side. But today's voters are more educated and selfish. At the end of the day, the average Singaporean does not care to read or hear anymore about other people. What he wants to hear is their name, how their life is going to get better and what they stand to gain. Nag too much about a certain matter and you start losing their attention, and support.

6. Good looks do matter. Get a good looking guy on your side with a pleasant personality, makes his rounds canvassing grass-root support, and who does not get his reputation challenged and you may very well swing a significant percentage of the female population your way. Those votes count!

This "attraction" effect seems to apply more to females than to males. Men, while may be somewhat swayed by a pretty lady candidate, do not seem to be as vulnerable as the ladies. Maybe it is because there are too many pretty girls in Singapore :)

---

It must be an age thing. I never used to care about the political situation in Singapore. Or maybe it is the whole idea of having the chance to vote. What the heck, I am glad I was back to watch the Singapore make a decision.

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Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Hey Singapore

I thoroughly enjoyed myself last week. It was great.

I got to vote for the first time in my life. I became a tad more politically aware. I think it is good to know what people are saying and feeling. The voting experience was particularly painless. I was thinking of long lines but it was a breeze really. Although I have to say, the voting card itself was kinda tricky. I had expected the incumbent to be the first option but it was not. The fact that there was no color on the form somehow made them look a little similar and I actually had to look twice.

I got to give blood. I have to admit this: I give blood to get a cool bandage. I know this is so because they nearly gave me a pink bandage and it made me feel kinda cheated. "Cheated?" you say. Yeah, cheated, because I had wanted a cool bandage - and the pink bandage was not cool. I am so superficial, true that.

I got to eat most of the stuff that I had wanted to eat. What I realized though was that I did not really miss those things, what was memorable about those foods was the company I would eat them with back in Singapore.

I got to see my friends again - you will not believe how wonderful it is to see friendly faces. I realized that Singapore is an awfully comfortable place to stay. The familiarity of places, people, the way things work, the food, the way people drive safely. The thick English newspaper that comes to your door punctually every morning, even if the news is somewhat skewed.

My Singaporean friends, appreciate what you have. It is a good home, a good place to live in, a good place to grow old.

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Sunday, April 09, 2006

Last week, today and tomorrow

Last week…
… My GM decided to extend his and Michelle’s stay here. So we went kindergarten-hunting to find his daughter a school to attend while here. Michelle has started calling one of the kindergartens her school already – “You know what’s my school? Yindu. Yindu is my school.”

… There was still a whole ton of work but it did not feel as bad as the past few weeks. This week though may be a different story.

… My dad came to visit. It was great to see family again. He was here for a day and a half and returned this morning. We went sightseeing yesterday – traveled about 300 km to see Du Jiang Yan (the famous irrigation dam project) and San Xing Dui (“Three Mounds” – a recent archaeological find that discovered another civilization here in China altogether.)

Today…
… My GM decided to return home today because his mom was hospitalized last night. She is at an age where your body systems/parts/components start to break and he should go home and be with her. Although I like to think that I am very far from that point, I cannot help but think of what it feels like to know that your body is failing on you and how your time on this earth is up.

… Mr. Globe-trotter and I catch up on MSN Messenger (after a whole year of no contact) and I find out that he is going to be studying in Hong Kong in fall this year. I look forward to catching up with him again.

Tomorrow…
… Starts another busy week and I am trying not to think about it now. But I will survive, or at least Papa will make sure I will.

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Sunday, April 02, 2006

She’s practicing her voice

I woke up to the Michelle shouting at her father this morning. Could not make out exactly what she was yelling about but I knew she was throwing another tantrum.

I have so much respect for her dad. He plays both roles of father and mother to his children, and he is so patient with them. He also has to work full time while doing all this so I can only imagine how tough it is for him.

Half the time, I have this very strong urge to shake Michelle hard and give her a talking to. To let her know what a brat she is being, how hard her daddy is working, how much he loves her and how she should not be so rude. But I do not. Because I have no right to do that, because she will not understand how hard it is for her father.

Michelle, like all toddlers, has what I call Jekyll-and-Hyde split personalities. There is the little angel side and there is the little monster side. When the little monster rages its ugly head, gosh, I just want to cringe inside and feel so sorry for the parent(s). Watching Michelle’s “little monster” side this week made me wonder if I was like that when I was a kid. Probably so.

I do not remember, but I think I must have yelled at my parents and brother so many times. I remember the “cold treatment” tactic though. All the Daddy-please-please-pleases until he gave in. The numerous times when I just butt into an ongoing conversation (regardless of its importance) so that I can be heard. All the things I insisted I “needed” to have when they were just “wants”. My mood swings. Gosh I must have been a pain.

Coming back to this morning’s incident, I got up and saw my GM, Michelle and Melvyn at the dining table. I asked why Michelle was shouting so early in the morning, thinking that her dad would say that she was having a bad mood. Instead, he said, “Every morning it’s like that, she’s practicing her voice.”

Wow. Because he defended her and did not want me to have a bad impression of his beloved one. Because he puts up with this every morning. Because it reinforces how much he loves her, and reminds me how much my parents love me. I guess this is one of those things that you only appreciate when you grow up and you see history repeat itself.

Despite the odds of it happening, I am scared to be a parent. The responsibility is too huge and the demands too high. I think I could never do well enough a job.

Makes me wonder how Papa feels… all these kids that he has…

20:10 Posted in From the observatory | Permalink | Comments (1) | Email this

Friday, March 17, 2006

See, Michelle!

My General Manager (GM) brought his daughter, Michelle, with him on this trip. She is a real sweetie. One of the first questions she asked when she arrived was, “How come there is no sun in China? Did the sun go to Singapore?” (Just goes to show how much pollution there is here.)

Michelle is a very pleasant 5 year old, who talks quite a bit the moment she warms up to you. But as with all children, they have moods, and are extremely pampered by their loving parents. Especially my GM, he loves his daughters (Michelle is his younger daughter) to bits.

Anyway, thinking that spring was here, my GM pretty much brought lighter clothing (as opposed to winter clothing) for Michelle. Unfortunately, a cold spell has been with us since they arrived last Friday and Michelle caught a cold. Yesterday morning, the poor girl was really sick. We managed to pound half a tablet of Fedac (I love Fedac… it is my miracle cure for colds) and dissolve it in a tablespoon of water and got her to swallow it. By evening, she seemed better.

So we brought her to Kentucky Fried Chicken for dinner. My GM tends to point things out to Michelle so that she will look up and see. Like, “See, Michelle! Traffic light is flashing the green man and bicycle! Now it’s safe to cross the road!” “See, Michelle! So many toys, China is good right?” “See, Michelle! (Pointing to Chinese children walking by) It’s your friend!” Of course, he may be incorrect or completely off sometimes, but she does not know any better. But when she does see what her dad means, or is referring to, she does nod her head in acknowledgement.

Anyways, all of a sudden, he says, “See Michelle, blue Kentucky!” Melvyn and I look up to see what he means. Turns out that a white man with a white beard wearing a blue jacket just walked in. Melvyn and I thought it was funny because my GM had gotten Colonel Sanders’ name completely wrong, but Michelle was oblivious. “See Michelle, Kentucky’s brother!” This time Melvyn and I burst out laughing because a Chinese man with white beard walked by, and my GM had mistaken him for a white man with a tan! What totally cracked us up was that he said it with so much excitement like it was the truth, yet he was so wrong, all this to get his daughter to look up.

He brought his daughter here to give her exposure to a bigger world instead of keeping her in Singapore. I hope that she will start to enjoy her time here more and that we will be able to find a school for her. She is feeling better today, and the weather might just be warming up. This evening, she pointed out of the window and asked me if that was the moon. I looked out and saw this red sphere of light in the sky. I told her it was the sun, not the moon. Her dad heard us and came to stand beside us. “See, Michelle, that’s the sun! Is China good or not?” She nodded her heda in agreement. Hopefully things will get better for the little girl.

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Saturday, March 04, 2006

Tadpoles, kids and kites

Contrary to the weather last weekend, the sun was out today and the weather was nice and warm. Good weather for a walk, I decided as I put on my sunglasses and headed out. Apparently lots of other people agreed.

At this little park, there were people basking in the sun. Old people sitting on chairs, resting. Younger people gathered around benches playing cards. Parents flying kites with their kids. Kids running around, cycling, blading. People like me taking walks. Kids gathered around the edges of the pond, fishing for tadpoles.

The tadpoles have hatched from their eggs, it must be spring. The kids are having a field day trying to catch tadpoles with their fingers, paper cups, little nets and pouring them into little water bottles to bring home. Some parents sit at the bench or by the side reading their papers, others participate actively with their kids in tadpole fishing. The kid is lying on his belly on the ground, and his parents are squatting beside them, holding the little bottle for their child to throw the tadpoles into. It is good to hear kids laugh and yell with excitement when they catch something.

3 March is apparently the date after which kite flying is ideal, or so my colleague told me. I guess that is true, considering the number of kites up in the park today. I saw a fair number of kite crashes, but others did pretty well. Chengdu is not exactly a windy place, but today there was enough draught higher up to keep kites aloft.

People were out drinking beers and sipping tea today. Playing cards, mahjong and such. Little rat dogs were dressed in thinner sweaters. Kids were playing this game I used to play in my childhood - translated, it is called “Eagle catching little chicks.” I smiled as I recalled how much fun I used to have in elementary school.

I am back at the office now. There is much to be done. But it was good to get out for a bit. This has been a busy, but good, week. It has been long days every day this week, but I am glad to find myself motivated. When I hit the bed, I sleep like a baby. So tired, and I rest well.

Spring is here. The flowers are blooming, and trees are bearing leaves. I need to get moving. Time is ticking.

14:50 Posted in From the observatory | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this | Tags: spring, chengdu

Thursday, December 22, 2005

The Best Christmas Pageant Ever

Sunday’s meeting was moved to the auditorium of one of the international schools. The kids from the Sunday meeting were putting up a play called “The Best Christmas Pageant Ever”, adapted from a book by Barbara Robinson. Despite a few technical glitches, I thought it was great.

The props were makeshift but they worked out fine. The costumes were obviously made by moms - which is such an American thing to do – and the kids looked fantastic. Obvious effort had been put in by both actors (assisted by their parents) to memorize their lines and everyone looked like they had fun. The screenplay was simple yet had a few good lines and some funny scenes. Everybody enjoyed the play.

As the play progressed, I observed parents eagerly looking at their kids on stage. Dads were sitting forward in their seats, hands on their chins; moms were standing at the sidelines, clutching their hands as they anxiously watched to see if the props and costumes they had made would hold. From the nervousness and attention they projected, you would have thought they were the ones on stage. And perhaps they were – littler versions of themselves were truly putting on the show.

There is such satisfaction from seeing children achieve something, especially if they are yours. To have them be part of a bigger picture that brings joy to people. To see your handiwork being used by your kids. To find out that all the effort spent to help your kids reach this day was worth it. It all pays off in this beautiful moment. Yet the beauty does not lie in whether the play was perfectly delivered, but if your child eventually pulled off his part to help make the entire event a enjoyable one for everybody. And this experience repeats itself as the child grows up, just that it may not be Christmas plays anymore. (If you have never taken part in such plays before, I am sure there is a local equivalent in your context like a kindergarten concert or something.)

Parenting is probably the toughest job in the world and definitely a lifelong occupation. Parents know they are primarily responsible for how their children turn out. They hope really hard that whatever they do today will finally lead the kids to contribute to society and bring joy to others. So when the day comes that you are exasperated with your parents for not “letting you go” or treating you like your age, realize this: no matter how old you are, you will always be the same little boy or girl that took part in that play a long time ago.

This post came to be because I have been observing Jose’s wife and kids who have come to visit and the parents at Sunday meetings. They remind me that to be a parent is a conscious decision to take on a very great responsibility that will completely change one’s life. It is an even bigger decision and adjustment than getting married or divorced. So try your best to be kind, patient and loving with your parents because you have much to be grateful for and much to learn. Your kids will watch, learn and treat you the same way. Although you cannot change the way you have behaved previously, you can change today, tomorrow and every day that follows.

00:40 Posted in From the observatory | Permalink | Comments (2) | Email this | Tags: parenting, parents

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

This is China

Kwi and I were talking over dinner tonight, and the phrase “This is China” came up often in our conversation.

Why do they not understand the concept of quality - that we would pay more for work well done and exactly the way we want it, instead of producing shoddy work and expecting us to accept it? Because this is China.
Why are there pebbles in the middle of the pedestrian pavement? And why do they use tiles that become slippery when wet when it rains? Because this is China.
Why do they spit on the streets? Because this is China.
Back home I would not give a second thought about just lying on the grass, but I would here. Why? Because this is China.

More questions with the same answer. We were sharing our observations and as much as we tried to explain things around us with our understanding of the local culture and behavior, sometimes the best reponse we could give was “This is China”.

Part of my work here involves dealing with local suppliers to produce some goods that we have ordered. It has been one lesson after another about how people do business here. They can be so unreasonable sometimes! But Jose tells me that I have to remember that this in China and what I consider to be reasonable or standard behavior in Singapore does not apply here in Chengdu.

Not all the Chinese are like that. My supplier in Shenzhen has been really good about his work – much more than I ever expected. Maybe Chinese businesses in the more commercialized areas (Shanghai, Beijing, Guangzhou, for example) are more mature in their quality and service standards because they have more interaction with the western world.

Granted, every flaw represents an opportunity to be exploited. But the cost of exploring such options sometimes outweighs the possible benefits that can be obtained. Nasty encounters with suppliers (like the one today) make me feel so tired of being here sometimes. This country is not ready to take on the world yet.

But I must persevere. Jose has an incredible amount of patience and I need to develop more of that. I need to get better at handling the locals. Despite having been here for a few months now, I am still such a greenhorn. I guess things like that cannot be rushed… I need to clock my hours in order to get the experience I need. “Don’t let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.” So they say.

I guess you just have to watch and wait and grab the opportunity when it comes. And keep thinking, because one day, one of these ideas will be the ticket to achieving our goal. Gotta hang in there.

01:05 Posted in From the observatory | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this

Sunday, November 20, 2005

The boy with and without legs

I have been observing this boy at Sunday meetings for the past few weeks. He is about 10 years old, the son of one of the Americans at the meeting. He sits in a wheelchair because he has lost the use of his legs. He has a younger brother and sister and they are all quite close.

I have been asking myself how it feels like to have legs (you can see them and touch them), yet not be able to use them like other people do. What it feels like to be wheelchair-bound for your whole life for as you have lived. What it feels like t